Trying to bean oneself into unconsciousness with a pillow is not very effective

Of the many things that can be said of AP Chemistry, one is that, at least when there was time to sleep, I was able to. Unlike now. I suppose I botched it myself.

Three nights ago, thursday night, I thought I could finally get a full night's sleep after a bunch of hazy all-nighters or part all-nighters or whatever. However, I had a lot of trouble sleeping because it was too hot and I sweated through everything and I had to get up to get water and probably ended up with a few hours of sleep here and there. So the next morning, I washed all my sheets and then arranged them differently. Last night, I went to sleep at about 10:30 and slept wonderfully. Perhaps too wonderfully. I woke up at 8:30, then drifted off again, and really got up at noon. Still, I was tired this afternoon and logically I would still be tired and I knew I was tired because some of the muscles on my face started twitching.

And yet, I cannot sleep. It is extremely annoying. I tired, yet my mind is still active. I can't stop thinking and perhaps I am even stressing myself out. I need to research my classes for college, and since I have no idea what I'm majoring in and no idea of the general structures, I have no idea what I'm doing. I feel obligated to get a job/earn money (there is a difference). I know what I need to do if I want to accomplish the former but I am scared to death of doing it. Irrationally so, as you can tell by the hyperbole. I need to go there and ask for an interview. It's something that's so simple, and so commonplace, something I need to learn how to do if I'm going to not live-in-a-hole-and-die-because-I-can't-get-a-job-at-a-fastfoodplace. And then there's the cleaning, and the projects, and the people I want to see or talk to but can't, because it's almost 2 in the morning and they're sleeping, because during the day they're busy, or they need sleep, and the silly things that still bother me even months later, that were amusing or a spectacle to everyone else, but intensely irritating to me, and to sort this all out I need sleep, or writing, or therapy, so I guess I'm writing this now even though I'm at risk of posting this to the whole web of internet, because frankly, there are enough of these kinds of things already on the internet that one more probably won't make a difference, and therapy is just like writing, only I have to speak, and to someone else, and my ability to verbally articulate the thoughts that are running around my head is iffy at best, and clearly, sleep is not an option right now.