Not being able to sleep is getting more and more frustrating. I struggle to fall asleep, and if I do manage to, I wake up too late. I no longer have the willpower to obey my alarm.
As I cannot sleep, I keep thinking. I keep thinking, and my responses become more irrational and more emotional and more withdrawn. I'm trying to think about this with a partly objective perspective - I need it to make sure I don't start crying every time I close my eyes and realize I've been trying for an hour and a half and can't fall asleep.
To sleep: I'm glad we had this talk. Good talk. Trust me, this is better than the two words I had planned out in my mind for you.
*deep, calming breath*
I'm sorry, I just really had to address sleep for a moment, to express (lopsidedly) my frustration at it. In any case, clearly nights of sleeplessness, coupled with nights with too much sleep, coupled with various other factors that may or may not include a sedintary lifestyle, idleness, and lack of society are not a good mix. I'm not sure exactly how bad this combination is, but right now I'm experiencing chills and my head still does that thing where my vision is wierd after standing up, and the inside top of my head feels cold. I'd imagine that sleeplessness might contribute to some delusion or paranoia, so maybe that's why I feel this way. Maybe I'm not that badly off at all, but I just think that I should be so I feel I am. Sort of an inverse placebo/hypochondria?
Hm. All this is interesting and all, but I think I'll go read some old yearbooks or something now.
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